To Allāh belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren whom He wills. Verily, He is the All-Knower and is Able to do all things. [Surah Ash-Shura, 42:49-50]
It is the way how this Dunya rolls and it is the way how Allāh SWT has designed this Dunya to be. You may have something that other people have. And you may not have something that other people do not have.
Single people want to get married (and fast) because they think that’s the only part of their religion that’s deficient. Married people want to have children (and fast) because they think the only way they could truly be happy (and successful) is by having children. People with children want them to have the best of everything in this Dunya.
People with the best God-fearing children fear that their children would end up as failures in Dunya. And people with not-so-God-fearing children fear for their kids in the Ākhirah aspect. Married people want their freedom. Free single people want to be tied down in a commitment.
So the issue here is that we have to accept that regardless of what we want in this Dunya and regardless of whether or not we get it, we’re still going to want more. And more. And so much more.
I’ve got proof:
On the authority of Anas b. Mālik, may Allāh be pleased with him, who narrated that Allāh’s Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “If the son of Ādam had a valley full of gold, he would love to have two valleys, for nothing fills his mouth except dust. And Allāh forgives him who repents.” [Sahih Bukhāri, Volume 8 Book 76 Number 447]
I mean it’s alright to want all those things because that’s how Allāh SWT created us.
It’s perfectly normal.
‘Beautified for mankind is love of the joys (that come) from women and offspring; and stored-up heaps of gold and silver, and horses branded (with their mark), and cattle and land. That is comfort of the life of the world. Allāh! With Him is a more excellent abode.’ [Surah Āle-‘Imrān, 3:14].
But being focused on those things only in this world is not a healthy way to live in this Dunya. Your camera of life should not be zoomed onto this Dunya. A true Muslimah has foresight. She can see farther than that. Her eyes should be on something much better than all the pleasures of this Dunya. Allāh SWT continues the above verse:
‘Say: Shall I inform you of something better than that? For those who keep from evil, with their Lord, are Gardens underneath which rivers flow wherein they will abide, and pure companions, and contentment from Allāh. Allāh is Seer of His bondmen, Those who say: “Our Lord! We have indeed believed, so forgive us our sins and save us from the punishment of the Fire.” (They are) those who are patient, those who are true (in Faith, words, and deeds), and obedient with sincere devotion in worship to Allâh. Those who spend [give the Zakât and alms in the Way of Allâh] and those who pray and beg Allâh’s Pardon in the last hours of the night. [Surah Āle-‘Imrān, 3:15-17]
Allāh SWT promises you a kind of happiness that does not end. A promise of a Garden, your home inshaa’Allāh, for which you don’t have to pay any bills. A husband or a companion who’s physically and spiritually devoid of anything negative and unpleasing. And Allāh SWT’s Pleasure! Imagine that all that time you gave up things fearing Allāh SWT and seeking His pleasure…in Jannah, how relieved you would be! That Allāh SWT is pleased with you eternally. But to be able to achieve all that one will have to do the following according to the verse above:
Ask for forgiveness for sins and seek refuge from punishment of the FireBe patientTrue to Deen in actions and wordsObedient with sincere devotion in worship to Allāh SWTSpend ZakahPray and beg Allāh SWT’s Pardon in the last hours of the night (Qiyām al layl)
Dear Muslim Sisters: just because you don’t have children, it doesn’t mean that you are:
The only one being testedThe only one who does not have a certain type of blessingThat there’s something ‘wrong’ with you
What is worse is that people may start pitying you. Some people start making up stories about you. You don’t have time to waste if people do as they say these things. And you certainly don’t have time to waste your life thinking that true successful marriage should be equated to children. As long as Allāh SWT did not say that, who are YOU to adopt such a definition? Worth thinking about. Isn’t it?
What this also means is that just because you don’t have a child right now, you won’t have one forever. If it was easy for Allāh SWT to create Ādam AS without any parents and ‘Īsa b. Maryam without any father, then do you think it is impossible for Him to bless you with a child?
What about the story of Zachariya AS who was very old and his wife who was barren? He said: “My Lord! How can I have a son, when my wife is barren, and I have reached the extreme old age.” He said: “So (it will be). Your Lord says; It is easy for Me. Certainly I have created you before, when you had been nothing!” [Surah Maryam, 19:8-9]
So what is it then which is preventing Allāh SWT from blessing you with a child?
Some reasons could be as follows: