–> You and your husband can’t handle a child. Maybe it’ll divert you from the Deen of Allāh SWT! Remember the story in Suratul Kāhf in which Khidr killed a boy because he was going to oppress his parents when he grew up?!
‘Then they both proceeded, till they met a boy, he (Khidr) killed him. Mūsa(Moses) said: “Have you killed an innocent person who had killed none? Verily, you have committed a thing “Nukr” (a great Munkar – prohibited, evil, dreadful thing)!” (74)”And as for the boy, his parents were believers, and we feared lest he should oppress them by rebellion and disbelief. (80) [Surah Al Kāhf ]
Think about that! And Allāh SWT does not burden a soul beyond its capacity.
‘Allâh burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned…’ [Surah Al Baqarah, verse 286]
–> You and your husband’s past sins. Now it doesn’t mean that those who have kids are righteous people. Not at all. But when one faces a certain challenging situation, one must look at oneself and see why is that certain type of Rizq is not coming my way? Rizq includes money, kids, spouse…in fact it includes everything that Allāh SWT bestows us with. Here’s a solution in the Qurʾān :
“I said (to them): ‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord; Verily, He is Oft-Forgiving; ‘He will send rain to you in abundance; ‘And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.’ ” [Surah An Nooh, 71:10-12]
Here Prophet Nooh AS proposes one key method to get rain, increase in wealth and children. And that one key method is Istighfaar. If you really want kids, you may want to focus on creating a routine of Istighfaar. Of course, most of you want kids. Would most of you end up asking for forgiveness?
–> Allāh SWT wants to choose you for Himself. What I mean by that is, often times our hearts are filled with love for people and things. Once those people and things no longer reside in our heart, then only we have room for Allāh SWT. One can never have Allāh SWT and love for this Dunya in their hearts because we all know that hearts are like any other vessels. So we end up then pleasing those whom we love, forgetting the One who granted us the object that we loved and the emotion of love itself.
‘…And of mankind are some that set up rivals; unto Allāh they love them as with the love due to Allāh. And those who believe are strongest in love of Allāh…’[Surah al Baqarah, 2:165]
By not granting you kids, Allāh SWT does not want you to waste those emotions over kids. Instead He SWT wants you to love Him more than anyone else. He want to empty your heart from all other types of love which shackle you and make you weak and He wants you to love only Him. Him Alone. So much so that your eyes only see the Guidance He SWT has sent, your ears hear what He SWT wants you to hear…He SWT does not want you to get distracted. He wants you to be focused on the greater purpose of your creation…
Makes you love Allāh SWT more, right?
I mean imagine the situation of Aisha RA. She did not have any kids. But you know what? She ended up teaching and guiding millions and billions of kids. She was not only a mother because she’s the Mother of Believers…she lived up to it by caring for those who came to learn from her just like a mother.
So what if you don’t ever become a mother? Can’t you channelize that love and guide other people’s kids? Can’t you become a mother to those kids who are orphaned? Can’t you be a form of mercy by educating other kids to become great Muslims?
Think about it! Think about the reward!
You may not become a Khadija, who gave birth to all Prophet’s kids but you then get the chance to become Aisha. Khadija, may Allāh SWT be pleased with her, raised excellent kids and we know all the wonderful qualities she had and all the beautiful ways she contributed towards advancement of Islam. But she didn’t get the chance like Aisha RA, i.e. to teach the Salaf, to become a Faqiha. Why? Because Allāh SWT gives some people some blessings while others, other blessings.
What’s important to remember is how would YOU utilize the blessings that you have in His Path?
One way to be content with whatever comes your way is by having good expectations of Allāh SWT. If Allāh SWT made things happen, then know that they are good for you. You may not know but Allāh SWT does because He SWT loves you more than you or anyone can love you.
“Allāh `azza wa jall said: ‘Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by being inflicted with poverty, and were I to enrich him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by wealth and affluence, and were I to deprive him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by good health, and were I to make him sick, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by disease and illness, and were I to make him healthy, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he who seeks worship by a certain act but I prevent that from him so that self amazement does not enter his heart. Certainly, I run the affairs of My slaves by My Knowledge of what is in their hearts. Certainly, I am the All-Knower, All-Aware’.” [Tabarani]
So be content and leave everything to Him.
Because He SWT knows what we want and He SWT knows when to grant us what we want. Or sometimes whether or not to grant us those things. For He SWT knows best.
Some duaas that you can recite daily (all from Qurʾān ) to be blessed with righteous offspring and/or rectify the state of current offspring:
Surah Al Baqarah, verse 128Surah Āle-‘Imrān, verse 38Surah Ibrāhīm, verse 40Surah Al-Furqān, verse 74
And how can you ensure that Allāh SWT listens to your duaa? Look at what Zachariya AS and his wife are described as doing:
And (remember) Zakariyya (Zachariah), when he cried to his Lord: “O My Lord! Leave me not single (childless), though You are the Best of the inheritors.” So We answered his call, and We bestowed upon him Yahya (John), and cured his wife (to bear a child) for him. Verily, they used to hasten on to do good deeds, and they used to call on Us with hope and fear, and used to humble themselves before Us. [Surah Al Anbiya, 21:89-90]
But always remember:
‘And it is not your wealth, nor your children that bring you nearer to Us (i.e. pleases Allâh), but only he who believes (in the Islâmic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds (will please us); as for such, there will be twofold reward for what they did, and they will reside in the high dwellings (Paradise) in peace and security.’ [Surah Saba,34:37]
Why’s that? Because:
‘Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world. But the good righteous deeds, that last, are better with your Lord for rewards and better in respect of hope. [Surah Al Kāhf , 18:46]
May Allāh SWT make us content with what He has Decreed for us and bless our Ummah with righteous offspring. Ameen.
And Allāh SWT knows Best. Please remember me in your duaas.
Wasalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.