It’s an open secret that sisters crush on du’āt (callers to the path of Allāh: imāms, alfas, preachers etc)! Abi who no like better thing? After all, men too love what is good. We love beauty, radiance, elegance, exquisiteness, brilliance et cetera. So what’s the big deal if a woman craves for a famous, rich, knowledgeable, prolific, dexterous man for a husband?
Little confessions from female counselees have revealed to me how sisters are dying to have certain du’āt for a husband. Go for your goal jare, my dear. It’s your right, and I’m not aware of any injunction – neither from the Qur’ān nor from the Sunnah – that prohibits you from doing that.
Let me even put you through how you can have your goal achieved. You’ve got just a couple of options.
One, use all halāl means to convey your heart to him. Don’t ask me what the means are. You may inquire from ummu-friends, they know better. Two, should he not look your side despite all halāl advances, you may express your mind through a third party (a friend – his or yours – your ustādh, your parent, or even his wife). The intermediary does not have to hit the nail on the head. He doesn’t have to tell him he is on your errand. There are different ways of conveying the message. See a counselor for proper guide. Three, you may summon the courage, look at him straight in the eye and burst his head with a thrilling, affectionate expression of love. Let me teach you this one: “I’m sorry for taking your precious time, yā ustādh. What I’m about to do is one of the most difficult things for a woman, but I’ve got no other option than to do it. Truth is, I can no more help tell how I feel about you. Despite being approached by men of timber and calibre, you are the only one my heart goes for. Yā ustādh, could you please make me your wife (or one of your wives, as the case may be) and you would never regret you did.” If this seems like an immoveable rock, then make it a text, Facebook, WhatsApp or Telegram message.
But hey sister, kindly be doubly sure that you really know what you want. Be extremely sure you are not being mesmerised or hypnotised by his fame, riches or handsomeness. You’ve got to ensure your istikhārah (prayer for guidance) is properly done and istishārah (findings – about your crush) appropriately carried out. This is because fame, riches or handsomeness does not solely guarantee a happy home. You need him to be pious and be of good character. Don’t be surprised, not all du’āt are God-fearing; not all are morally upright. In fact, some may be attitudinally bankrupt. And they may be so arrogant that no correction will penetrate their heads. Know, dear sister, that there are du’āt who beat their wives – not the Qur’ānic tapping but merciless hitting.
If you’re crushing on a dā’iyah, do not be desperate such that you choose seduction for an option. All you need do is stay connected with your Lord and you will apparently be guided.
Sanni Kay Yūsuf