The idea of going for a visit to a would-be father-in-law and turning the visit into aqdu-n-nikaah is a common practice that should be critically looked into. Solemnization of marriage is too fundamental a phenomenon to be abracadabrically done.

Our mirror and model – prophet Muhammad – married his wives without any wúrúwúrú to the answer.

As that lady will be your wife till death, so will her parents be your in-laws. So why not marry their daughter in a way that is as clear as the fourteenth-day moon and they feel appreciably respected?

Why ask for a visit, and you cunningly turn it into aqdu-n-nikaah by putting words into the mouth of the father? Why trick him? If you truly love the lady, you shouldn’t do abracadabra with her parents.

Although, there are occasions where the father or the person in the father’s position will be the one to turn things around. He may unquestionably change the visit into aqdu-n-nikaah. That will be a different ball game, because such a turnaround will be from the depth of his heart. He owns his daughter, and can decide to be extremely simplistic. Anyone that goes against that, too, is fundamentally wrong.

But come to think of it, who is that foolish lady that would golugoistically conspire with her suitor to trick her parents? What is so special about the weapon-less robber that would make her sell her parents ridiculously cheap to a stranger who may end up using same to shame her in future?

Dear sister, wear your thinking cap and come over here. If there’s anything to compromise for anybody, it is not your parenthood. Your man can never be your dad, neither can he be your mum. If your parents aren’t toeing your line of thoughts now, find a sensible, responsible way of getting to their hearts than allow a man steal you away against your hereafter.

Use your head, lover-girl!


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