Sexting, otherwise known as Sex-chatting, is now common with married men. While some do so – with anything under the skirt – for sexual gratification, others do so under the guise of tathniyah (taking in a second wife). Disappointingly involved in this filth are people whose physique, appearance, physiognomy and expressions depict nothing but piety. The matter is worse with them that rather than go remorseful and repent to Allāh when they are caught red-handed by their wives, they prevaricate, equivocate or even go vindictive with words not befitting of a righteous fellow.
Marriage plurality is an act of ibādah. Therefore, the man’s quest to take in another woman in fulfilment of this worship act shouldn’t be overridden by that which is scripturally forbidden. Ikhlās (sincerity) and mutāba’ah (adherence to the prophet) are fundamental, else, it will just be servitude to the gallery.
Many of those guilty of the subject matter had a good intention ab initio. They didn’t mean to go sinful. They actually meant well. But their lack self-discipline and the infatuation they called love got them into the mess.
Sexting starts from somewhere. It is usually actuated by frequent, indiscriminate chat with the so-called would-be wife. This is done by men to prove to those ladies that they are caring and romantic. That, in sexology, is called bonding (the act of getting to know each other without bounds). And you know, some of our sisters love to be deceived. They even complain that their fiances (men who are yet to have their hands in marriage) are not romantic. I’m yet to know how romantic they actually want a non-mahram to be with them.
Where a married man, in his chats with his would-be wife, describes how both of them will eventually go acrobatic in bed, that is no more a sincere premarital relationship. Where the man, in the wee hours of the night (right beside his wife) is romantically engaging the would-be wife, then that is no sincere premarital relationship.
It is no exaggeration that some have even gone to the extent of exchanging nude pictures with each other. It is worse that once that is done, going back may be an impossibility. By so doing, they wallow unrepentantly in the mess till they rock each other in bed and crocodile tears wet their cheeks thereafter as show of remorse. Things are happening and our ears are becoming deafened.
Engaging a would-be wife as though she is already a wife is a show of respectful to your wife. She alone deserves that, and giving it to other than her is dishonour. You too cannot take that, can you?
But come to think of it, if the man is mad, should the lady too be stupid not to know he will do her same should he consider a third wife after her?
Homes have broken up because of this prevalent rubbish. Women are crying because their husbands aren’t remorseful. I suggest that the matter be addressed by our imāms on the minbar.