Our sisters seem to have been dying in silence – a deafening one for that matter. The recent outcry of some of them is, apparently, an attestation. In some of those stories, though, might be a little sensationalization (until the accused had been accorded fair hearing), but for every rumour they say lies an atom of truth.
Our sisters say their husbands do not make them feel like women: that their men, regrettably, are mere bed warmers who are grossly bereaved of, not only the strength, but also the requisite skill to make them glow sexually as would do ants when they find a haven in honey. They say two, three-minute bedding timeout, as effeminately and irritatingly done their husbands, is no appreciable adventure, and that all efforts to make them up the highly-rewardable game have proven abortive. They say some are not even remorseful that they aren’t up to the task for which their hands were sought in marriage. This matter, according to reports, has unfortunately resulted in hate, adultery and divorce between spouses. This is, no doubt, an ugly situation to worry about, hence this shortly-worded article.
The prophetic tradition wherein the youth were urged to get married so they could be safeguarded from fornication is, for sure, an indication that SEX is a key player in imprinting and sustaining marital bliss between spouses. It is perhaps the primary purpose for marital togetherness. Procreation, like some claim, may be an integral part of the purpose, but the former, arguably, is much more fundamental; after all it is Allāh Who blesses marriages with children. If He likes, he will, and if he doesn’t, He will not. Who dares question His unchallengeable sovereignty? The following verse says it all:
لِّلَّهِ مُلۡكُ ٱلسَّمَـٰوَ ٰتِ وَٱلۡأَرۡضِۚ یَخۡلُقُ مَا یَشَاۤءُۚ یَهَبُ لِمَن یَشَاۤءُ إِنَـٰثࣰا وَیَهَبُ لِمَن یَشَاۤءُ ٱلذُّكُورَ. أَوۡ یُزَوِّجُهُمۡ ذُكۡرَانࣰا وَإِنَـٰثࣰاۖ وَیَجۡعَلُ مَن یَشَاۤءُ عَقِیمًاۚ إِنَّهُۥ عَلِیمࣱ قَدِیرࣱ.
“God has control of the heavens and the earth; He creates whatever He wills – He grants female offspring to whoever He wills, male to whoever He wills, or both male and female, and He makes whoever He wills barren: He is All-knowing and All-powerful.”
[Surah Ash-Shura 49-50]
Crystal clear it is from the above that having children as the fruits of marriage isn’t automatic; it is Allāh’s prerogative.
Sex therefore is the primary reason marriage is legislated. And it is so fundamental that whoever isn’t potent to sail through that experiential expedition in a woman is prohibited from joining the institution, except he is glued to a woman with same condition. The prophet says:
يا معشر الشباب من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج فإنه أغض للبصر وأحسن للفرج…
“O youth, whoever has the capability among you should get married, for that is what will make his gaze lowered and his genital protected…”
Sex is no joke in marriage. It is like food to be delectably, scrumptiously and satisfactorily devoured, not only by the man, but also by the woman. It is a lifetime connect between spouses. The man should give it to his wife as much as or much better than he expects to have it from her.
Like the man, the woman has the right to complain if she isn’t getting it as wanted. Expressing one’s mind is what brings about sexual improvement. Silence isn’t golden, but gory. Speaking up is what rather gladdens.
When a woman complains, the man becomes duty-bound to hear her out and see to her plight. She should be asked how she wants it done. They should discuss it like what to eat is discussed.
Any style – aside that which results in anal penetration – is allowed. This may be learned from sexologists. Halāl Sex and Intimacy by Ibn Abdullah As-Sudaisi is a good one to sip from. That’s the best book any couple can lay their hands on and their sex life will never remain the same. I took part in the review, and I could not but significantly learn from the various topics treated. Get yourself a copy, read together with your spouse and discuss thereafter.
It is immature and senseless of any man to think ill of his wife when she complains of his inability to make her reach her peak. Rather than stupidly rationalize or go arrogantly vindictive, why not ask her how best she wants the rock – slowly, fast, soft, hard, from the front, from the back, head up or down etc. Try different hits with her and see which one(s) makes her soundly moan than a 🐈.
To think that blessing the woman with 💰 makes her entirely happy is a great mistake. No matter how humongous the money is, if she isn’t getting satisfactorily copulated, she will feel not blessed. A woman not sexually satisfied and the husband not remorseful of his inadequacy may be forced to quit the marriage even if the man is wealthier than Dangote.
Given our ruining diets in this age, truth be told, hardly will a man last 30 minutes in 🛏. Whereas women are the ones killing their men’s sexual power with the junks called condiments they cook with. With an extensive foreplay and the requisite skills, sexual adventure may last one hour or even more. Foreplay – romantically touching sensitive parts of the woman’s body – done for a long time makes the woman wet and ready to reach orgasm. A slight strike of penetration for as short as five minutes gets her glow even more than Globacom.
It’s a sin that you aren’t remorseful of your sexual inadequacy with your wife. If she dares consider adultery for an alternative, while she will be deemed a sinner, you will equally be held accountable. Ego makes no sense here, Mr Man. Shouting at the woman or abandoning her is religiously, socially, culturally criminal. Don’t be deliberately ignorant and wickedly arrogant!
One of the things that make a man manly is his ability to make the woman shed tears of joy in 🛏. If you can’t, make her smile, at least. Don’t make her frown or hiss at your frustrating “womanness”.
This piece is however not to abet women who go overboard in their request for sexual intimacy. What some women consider as sexual gratification are either seemingly impracticable, or can only be done by a countably few supermen. That various styles are allowed in 🛏 doesn’t mean every style is conveniently okay. Pornographic videos or sex films have murdered the sanity of some women (including men). This is not only immoral but sinful. It was recently confessed by a wife that for every mating with her husband comes a keen watch of a blue film. There is no doubt that the man and the woman who do that are crazy. Apparently, the sex actors and actresses act their satanic scripts on hard drugs. Who is that pious woman that would want her husband do same so as to go the same way? Our women too should e reasonable and compassionate.