Overtime we have found many sisters having issues with the family of their husbands over one issue or the other.

I have often reiterated to the listening ears of married sisters that they should never stand to refute or correct the wrong beliefs or notions of their husbands relatives.

For example, a woman asked to know if her rebuttal to her mother-in-law was okay.

What actually occured?

This sister has been supplicating to Allaah so as to conceive for some years. So, the mother-in-law brought her a calabash containing herbs with colored white stripes and some dried palm tree leaves wounded round it. The herb concoction is to be mixed with alcohol before usage.

The wife (questioner) who wanted to showcase her Tawhīd classes thanked the mother and thereafter refused to accept the calabash placed in the big nylon saying it is shirk, alcohol is prohibited and all sorts.

The mother-in-law’s cultural inclination didn’t make any of her explanations pull up sense in her ears. The only thing that kept ringing in her ears was that: “my son’s wife rejected my assistance and showed ungratefulness to my help”

The mother who appeared dejected and unappreciated simply carried her calabash and left.

This caused a great chaos between the mother-in-law and her son when the husband returned.

I advised that:

“Honored sister! You have done well as your eemaan couldn’t withstand the call to shirk by your mother-in-law. However, it’s important to note that we need to often apply wisdom and patience when dealing with our in-laws.

Always ensure that your husband(s) refutes the wrongs and evils you witness from your in-laws especially the elderly ones.

There is nothing they can do to their son but they can connive to send you packing from his home.

So, in this kind of a situation; you should have received the calabash from your mother-in-law and thanked her. Thereafter, you will inform your husband of the calabash that was brought while he returns it to her explaining to her the shirk surrounding the calabash and all sorts.

Even when your mother-in-law calls you to complain of his rejecting the calabash, simply act neutral and plead with her to kindly forgive him.

As a wife, you must be very careful of hastening to correct your elderly in-laws and putting them off especially when they feel they are extending goodness to your family.

Always allow your husband to tackle these kinds of situations as he is their son and they can rarely do anything for him”

May Allaah bless our homes.

© Faarooq Aleem Al-Egbaawiy


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