INTERCOURSE IN RAMADAN: FINE OR FILTHY?
By
Sanni Kay Yusuf
Intercourse with one’s spouse before dawn has no negative effect on one’s fast. In fact, the couple may bed each other to their best after suhur – before Fajr. But doing so after Fajr is punishable by a 60-day consecutive fast or feeding of 60 needy fellows.
(أُحِلَّ لَكُمْ لَيْلَةَ الصِّيَامِ الرَّفَثُ إِلَىٰ نِسَائِكُمْ ۚ هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَكُمْ وَأَنْتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَهُنَّ ۗ عَلِمَ اللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ كُنْتُمْ تَخْتَانُونَ أَنْفُسَكُمْ فَتَابَ عَلَيْكُمْ وَعَفَا عَنْكُمْ ۖ فَالْآنَ بَاشِرُوهُنَّ وَابْتَغُوا مَا كَتَبَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ ۚ وَكُلُوا وَاشْرَبُوا حَتَّىٰ يَتَبَيَّنَ لَكُمُ الْخَيْطُ الْأَبْيَضُ مِنَ الْخَيْطِ الْأَسْوَدِ مِنَ الْفَجْرِ ۖ ثُمَّ أَتِمُّوا الصِّيَامَ إِلَى اللَّيْلِ ۚ وَلَا تُبَاشِرُوهُنَّ وَأَنْتُمْ عَاكِفُونَ فِي الْمَسَاجِدِ ۗ تِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ فَلَا تَقْرَبُوهَا ۗ كَذَٰلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ اللَّهُ آيَاتِهِ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَّقُونَ)
“Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments. Allah knoweth what ye used to do secretly among yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now associate with them, and seek what Allah Hath ordained for you, and eat and drink, until the white thread of dawn appear to you distinct from its black thread; then complete your fast Till the night appears; but do not associate with your wives while ye are in retreat in the mosques. Those are Limits (set by) Allah: Approach not nigh thereto. Thus doth Allah make clear His Signs to men: that they may learn self-restraint.”
[Surat Al-Baqarah 187]
Where intercourse took place midnight and the ambience was such that the couple got unavoidably tied to bed until Fajr, they should continue with the fast for the day but should bath off the filth before Salah. Their case is just like one who dreamt (during the day) of a sexual encounter with a lady and got his body rained with ejaculation. The fast is intact but would take a ritual bath before Salah.
Couples should do away with sanctimoniousness – show of piety more than the most pious, the Prophet. That’s what I call exaggerated righteousness. Except on mutual understanding, it is sinful for the woman to deny the man her body all through the nights of Ramadan. Doing same by the man is also a show of pathological ignorance.
عن عائشة رضي الله عنها قالت: كان رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يدركه الفجر وهو جنب من أهله ثم يغتسل ويصوم ((متفق عليه))
Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported:
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) would wake up at Fajr time in a state of Janabah; so he would take bath before dawn and observe fasting.
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
In or out of Ramadan, the woman should be at the man’s beck and call. With a mere snap of the fingers, her back should lay on the bed for the primary purpose for which their two were glued to one. Mating should be a thing of play and joy to couples. It will not be out of place if it is called a physiological, psychological food that should be delectably served each time the body is famished of it.
The idea of having a timetable for copulation – though may work for some – makes little or no sense to me. That would mean that the body would be obligatorily conditioned to the stipulated days, not the body responding to the stimuli that may emanate from the woman’s erotic elegance or the man’s preemptive advances. In short, it makes no sense (and I stand challenged). Of what essence is marriage if the man cannot return home to lay unconditionally on his woman on account of some accidental temptation suffered from the erratic ladies usually clothed but nude, for instance?
Abeg, enjoy yaself. This life is shorter than what you think of it.
English 