A man ran to the imām very shortly after Salātul Jumu’ah. He requested his arbitration into the skirmish between his two wives whom he had tactically brought to the masjid. The said man just got a thāniyah and his home suddenly turned apart. All energies exerted to make them one happy family proved abortive. The imām seeing the man’s unfriendly physiognomy ordered the immediate presence of the women in question.
The imām fed the man and his wives with diets from the Scriptures. The man was reminded of justice between the warring women. He was told the scriptural implication of being one-sided.
The first wife was sermonized to take fate in the fact that it had been destined that her husband would have a second woman in his life. She was therefore urged to fear Allah and accept His decree on their family. The imām made her realize that her co-wife had no offence against her: that it was her husband who saw her fit to be brought in as a wife.
The newly-married lady was admonished to be receptive of the first wife’s show of grievance, as she might do worse if she were in her shoes. The imām added that she should fear Allah and be respectful to the woman.
Having taken all through the word of Allah, the women were availed the opportunity to express their minds so the grievances of each person would be known. It was soothing and the imām could not but eulogize the first wife for her high level of piety when she presented her case. “If not for the lectures I had heard with respect to polygyny and the fear of Allah, they (the man and the co-wife) would have felt my worse. Ask him, imām, he knows me too well. He knows what I am capable of doing,” she confessed in braggadocio. “I have nothing against her. But please, sir, tell him to stop mentioning her name whenever he’s having issues with me. I don’t like,” she added.
The page was thereafter turned to the co-wife, and very amazingly, she was fantastically behaved despite the aggressive conduct of the first wife. “Sir, all I want is peace,” she said.
The imām faced the man and reemphasized the significance of justice. He told him to see to the plight of the first wife as angrily aired. He was told not to ignoranty cause enmity between his two wives.
In the end, the second wife was asked to sit extremely close to the first wife. The imām urged her to say her teslīm and that the first wife should respond happily and initiate a handshake. They did as urged and the matter settled.
You see, sometimes, men unknowingly ignite problems in their polygynous homes. How they handle matters sometimes bring up flames of vendetta between their wives. This is why it’s important to pray for more wisdom whenever the other woman is to be brought in. A polygynous man must be wise, tactful, political, firm, decisive, resourceful and receptive of jabs.
And to the wives, they’ve got to fear Allah and never do to each other what they would not want done to them. When the man is cheating on one, the other should fight for her in order to avoid same being meted out to her later. Remember, pàṣán táa fi nà’yálé ḿ bẹ lókè àjà…
With taqwā – fear of Allah – polygyny is simple. And there is no how this can be achieved except by consistently attending and listening to spiritual diets. Any man, especially a polygynous one, who does not encourage his wife(s) to attend gatherings where her piety will be boosted is only opting for his ruins.