“I have told my wife I want to go into polygny and she has made hell on earth for me”
“I have told my wife I want another wife and my life started turning upside down”
“I have told my wife am marrying another woman and it was never possible again after she heard it”
These and lots more are what some men that want to go into polygny have witnessed. But the question for these kind of women will be: Is it the love you have for your hubby that made you turn yourself into something else just because he want to add another wife?
Your love for your husband won’t make you hurt him. Please, what if Allah, his creator then decide to call him, will you say no or follow him into the grave and let them bury you along with him so as to show how much you love him? Your answer will be NO.
Then why creating unnecessary problem for yourself because he wants to remarry? Why destroying him totally or partially? Are you so special that you can sacrifice your paradise for hellfire just because of a man who want to go into polygny? A man you met here on earth, a man you don’t know when his creator created him. A man you won’t die together with, even if you die together, you won’t be buried together and if you are even buried together, you won’t be questioned together and the thousands of years you will use inside the grave, you won’t meet again until judgement day. So with all these, you really hate yourself and love your hubby so much for him to attain paradise and you should attain hellfire.
Whatever steps and measures you take to reck him and destroy him in any way, and it works just get one hint that, is because you are created for “destruction”. Nothing will happen that Allah our creator is not aware of. If anything bad happens through you, it is because it has been decreed that it will be done through you. You will reap it, and your products ( children) will benefit greatly from it.
Who told you that he has sinned against his creator by re marrying? Or he has even sinned against you? Oh, you are the one that fed him when he has nothing, you gave him clothes when he has none, you even sent him to school, your father was the one that financed him through school or to start business which has boomed today. You struggled for him to become what he is today and the next thing for him, after he is now financially stable, is to bring in new wife.
Yes, you are right. But do you know that, that is men for you. You did all these and he still wants to bring in another woman. It will pain you as a woman and, you will feel betrayed. But do you want him to be admitted into paradise and you should be automatically admitted into jannama (because of your evil way of dealing with the situation)? Immediately you decide to take laws into your hands, you will be left alone by Allah. And shaitan will be your ally.
So, what success will you have? You will be successful in your atrocities only here in duniya and the second success will be on the day of judgement where you will be highly successful in gaining admission into jannama (hellfire). Is this what you want to be your portion? Why can’t you just leave him to do what he want and seek your help from Allah? Look up on to him. If your husband decides to play unjust in the marriage, Allah will judge him.
He would forgot his pain within a twinkle of an eye when Allah will start to reward him for his suffering on the day of judgement. And that is when your own suffering will start which will be everlasting. Some women are the cause of their husband not telling them before he marrying another woman.
It is natural for a woman to get jealous of her hubby because he is entering into polygny. It is natural for her not to want any rival. But it is very bad, and implicating oneself in front of the creator by turning into an evil person just because of polygny.
Remember, nothing lasts on earth and nothing is permanent. And before you start judging me that, I don’t know how it feels, is because am not into it, men are this, men are that, then know that, I know how it feels because am also into it.
Written by Rashida bint Ajao, a marital counsellor and family therapist.