Like the man is naturally polygamous, the woman is naturally monogamous. She is apparently jealous and meticulously protective of her marriage from being co-enjoyed with another woman. She loves her husband so much that she doesn’t want anyone to come between them – not even the mother-in-law who seldom visits their home, let alone someone who will practically take the husband’s attention by fifty percent, at least, or even more.
If the second wife were the first, she would react the same way the first would do, or even do the dismaying worst like the Osogbo murderer-woman recently did to her husband. No woman loves to share her hubby, darling, sweetie, honey etc. with any other woman. It is inevitably natural of them. The second wife doesn’t want the third to come in, too. If she had her way, she would ensure all machinations that would see to the eviction of her predecessor in the life of her husband. They say there is love in sharing, but obviously not in the case of marriage, as largely demonstrated by women. Don’t be mesmerised by the length of hijab, nor hypnotised by the use of niqab (face veil), women are women. If women were availed the privilege of proscribing just one law from the Sharee’ah, it would not take them thirty seconds to abrogate that which legalises marriage to more than one wife.
The second wife should take it easy with the first. She needs to perseveringly bear certain reactions exhibited by her predecessor, as she is likely to do worse if she were in the same shoes. The kind of patience expected of the second wife is no show of stupidity, laxity or mediocrity; it is rather a display of sympathy and respect for the one whose treasure was coercively split into halves. The first wife MUST react. It’s a natural reality. The second wife should be patient. It’s a fact.
These days, the second wife is always on the run to take the husband completely. She orchestrates plans that will make him send the other woman packing. She may even go fetish in order to realise the at-all-cost vicious dream. Pasan ti a fi na iyale m be lori aja fun iyawo. She has forgotten that the polygamous husband hasn’t turned monogamous – he may marry another wife who may be untouchably tougher than her. And in the end, she will join the first wife in the gutters where she sent her.
The first wife should be receptive of the second wife. Islamically, it is the prerogative of the man to either go polygamous or remain monogamous. The legislation of polygamy isn’t discretionary, but divine. Its legalisation is clear in Suratun-Nisaa Q4 V3: “…then marry women of your choice – two or three or four; but if you fear that you may not be able to deal justly (with them), then (stick to) only one…”
Therefore, going against the verse or any other word of Allah on account of whim and caprice is a naaqid min nawaaqidil eemaan (a spoiler among the spoilers of faith). All muslims must submissively accept every bit of the Islamic injunctions, one of which is polygamy. The woman should not threaten her husband from getting the second wife. She should rather explore preventives such as good characters, obedience, hygiene, charming dressing, brilliance in domestication – especially in the kitchen, excellence in bed et cetera. If Allah wills, the man may never consider another woman even if wooed by the richest and in the most elegant way.
There is no reason fighting the second wife. Face your husband. He brought her in, after all. Quarrelling, fighting or establishing enmity with the second wife is a display of immaturity and preposterousness.