I have written to the sentiment of men. I have lost count the number of articles I have rolled out in our favour. Turning the page overleaf to the plights of our counterparts should be no cause for alarm. I shouldn’t be roasted for doing a balanced admonition. And that doesn’t make the author an infallible saint.
I am no Angel. I err too. I may be disappointing if you encounter the other side of me. Ask my queen, a treatise (in large volumes) may not be enough to contain her reservations about me. So don’t think of hanging me on the crucifix for helping the women express their plights. Be reasonable. Be just.
Even on the minbar, women seem more lashed than men. That may be because their wrongs are conspicuously noticeable. And they seem lousy about their complaints, and their reactions sometimes overdone.
It’s time men got their portion of the hit. We should tell one another the bitter truth. Let’s fight and split for Allah’s sake. That’s better than fraternising on falsehood and deceits. وَتَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْبِرِّ وَالتَّقْوَىٰ ۖ وَلَا تَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْإِثْمِ وَالْعُدْوَانِ ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ ۖ إِنَّ اللَّهَ شَدِيدُ الْعِقَابِ
“Cooperate with one another in goodness and righteousness, and do not cooperate in sin and transgression. And be mindful of Allah. Surely Allah is severe in punishment.”
(Surat Al-Ma’idah 2)
Women do not need the whole world to love their husbands. They are naturally, unavoidably merciful and compassionate except those in whose heads shaytan plays sudoku.
Women do not mind giving their all – money inclusive – to serve their husbands. They can prepare costly meals with their earnings, cloth the children from their purses, settle school bills without requesting a payback, and pay house rents even though it is no duty of theirs. All they desire of their men is sincerity.
The man should make his woman feel like a wife whenever he is financially loaded. She doesn’t have to know the exact figure in the bank safe or the cash in the wardrobe. But she deserves an angelic treat to the best of his ability. She should be significantly fed, clothed, sheltered and gladdened with extras.
A stingy, mingy and miserly husband will never enjoy the good side of his wife. It’s a fact.
The woman wants a soft appeal when her man is broke. She wants to be begged to cover up the leakage(s). That should be no big deal, after all, it isn’t her statutory duty. But where the man wants to play smart and wiser than Solomon, the woman may stair up flames of anger.
Polygyny has come to stay as an Islamic norm. It’s a practice that is scripturally backed, socially sacrosanct and heavenly rewarding. Whoever is aggrieved may face Kilimanjaro with his head. But is the legality of the aforesaid extended to the one who eats from hand to mouth, one whose wife hasn’t enjoyed the sweetness of matrimony, one in whose abode penury is apparent like the fourteenth-day moon, one on whose offspring wears aren’t fitting?
In my opinion, persons with the above condition should rather pray for provisions from the heavens to sustain their families than add salt to injury. Their desire to bring in the other woman will come to pass after bringing smile to the face of their household members. At that juncture, the woman’s shouts against the man’s sunnatic action would be the normal cry to have her husband all to herself. At that point, no right thinking Muslim would share the lady’s sentiment but the man’s courage.
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