Less than a session she got admission into the university, she went home with a man and had him presented as the one she would love to be conjugally glued to. The mother was utterly disappointed that her daughter could have such occupy her mind at such a tender age and at the start of her academic pursuit. “Why not after your education?” she probed.
The young lady seemed to have been mesmerically captured by the love trap set by her heart-man. So she wasn’t giving to her mum’s opposing view. While the highly concerned mother dissuaded her daughter against the move, the very-passionate daughter persuaded her mother for the march. To the mother, it was too early. To the daughter, graduating before marriage was too far.
The confused woman could not but seek ‘redress’ with her imam. She asked of him to help talk sense into the lady. She cried out loud so the imam would have a feel of how embittered she was.
Imam: How old is your daughter, ma?
Mother: 20, sir.
Imam: Is your daughter known with promiscuity?
Mother: Nooooo!
Imam: Does she have boyfriends?
Mother: No. She would have told me if she had one. I trust her.
Imam: Have you any assurances that her nikaah will only blossom if she waits till after school?
Mother: No.
Imam: Do you have an idea about the state of your daughter’s hymen? I mean do you know if she is a virgin or not?
Mother: She is, to the best of my knowledge. She is a moralistic girl, imam.
Imam: OK. Good. Which would you prefer: pregnancy before graduation, or nikaah before graduation?
Mother: Imam, I just preferred she graduated before marriage, sir. I think that’s better. By then she would have had a job of her own, and she would not be dependent on her husband.
Imam: I see. You just have to choose one. If you refuse her getting married now and she ends up losing her virginity or becoming impregnated, you will be held accountable. And by then you may be forced to beg for the acceptance of the pregnancy. That will be a shame on you and us. Apart from the lady being a Muslim, she is a jilbabite like you.
Mother: But imam…
Imam: But what? What you should rather be talking about is who the man is. How good, responsible and capable he is. You should be talking about finding out his background, his relationship with family and friends. And most significantly, we should be talking about how religious and righteous he is. You need to do away with the mentality that she must complete her varsity before nikaah. Many have done it, and they aren’t regretting it. I am a living example.
Mother: Allaahu akbar!Thank you for this beautiful admonition, sir. Do you know that the man is married with children? My daughter wants to be a second wife when bachelors are out there in abundance. I don’t know what’s wrong with her.
Imam: And what gave you the impression that things would be fine if married to a single man?
Mother: Haa, imam!
Imam: See, woman! You are not doing what a good Muslim woman should do as regards this matter. Let Allah choose for your daughter, not you. Look, if she ends up marrying a wrong person, she may curse you later in life. Why don’t you go down in prayer before Allah for proper guidance.
Mother: Haaaaaaa, imam!
Imam: Is the man in question financially OK?
Mother: With the way I see him, he is rich.
Imam: His religion and attitude n ko?
Mother: Those I don’t know for now.
Imam: Madam, go make your findings about him and get back to me. This is what you should rather be doing. Carry out a thorough finding on him: his person, his religious dedication, his temperament, and all you feel are needed to know.
Mother: OK, sir. I will do as directed.
Imam: May Allah see you through.
Parents should realize that destinies are known to no one. What they feel is good for their children may be bad for them, and that which they think is bad may be the best for them. Rather than conclude hastily over an endeavour regarding the future of their children, they should kindly invoke Allah for guidance.
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