Like the woman values caring and may unapologetically flee her marriage if not lovably cared for, so the man cherishes respect and may unrepentantly send his woman packing if not lovably accorded what he loves.
Respect for the man requires four things: humility, loyalty, submissiveness and reverence. With those qualities present in a woman, respect for the man is assured and his heart consequently and eternally stolen.
Caring is defined by the woman, not as felt by the man. The woman says how she would love to be pampered, patted on the back, romaticized etc. Respect on the other hand is determined by the man, not as understood by the woman. The two are like sex whose enjoyment is individualistically determined by both parties. Each spouse says how they want it.
When a woman is frequently alleged of being disrespectful, she should check herself and necessary amendments made before the man’s reasoning is satanically clouded and her face tattooed with bruises of battery. Beating isn’t justified here though, but the woman too should do away with acts that might get her animalized.
Respect is whatever your husband calls respect. Disrespect is what he calls disrespect, provided that it’s in consonance with the dictates of Allāh and His apostle.
There are some ways you talk to your husband that he may find disrespectful. You need not convinced of his claim or stance. What matters is that he doesn’t like it, period! If there’s the need to make some explanations and clarifications, do so politely. If he insists, take to his opinion and drop yours. That’s how obedient wives do.
Madam, look here, let me tell you what you may not want to hear. A disrespectful wife is impious. She is unrighteous. She is silly, filthy and saucy. In fact, she is demonic.
By Sanni Kay Yūsuf
English 