…AND THE WOMAN IS HUMAN, TOO.
Sanni Kay. Yusuf
The woman should be receptive of the other woman as a partner in progress, not as a rock in rivalry. This is the ideal of Islam; the reality of the era; and the truth of the matter. But it is apparently not easy for the woman to succumb to the reality of a fellow sharer of her man because she is human – like the man is.
The woman loves the man more than the man loves the woman – research. That is why her sacrifices in the union are usually much more than the man’s. She wants to own the man like the man indisputably owns her. She would remote-control the man if she had the slimmest way to do so, such that the man would be constrained to exercise his natural liberty of considering the second woman.
Marriage to more than one woman has come to stay, even by logic – commonsense. Islamically, it is a virtue, irrespective of its bastardisation by misrepresentatives whose polygamous lives aren’t Islam-compliant. The wrong by a figure isn’t a yardstick to jettison the other numbers. If you try the other numbers, they may make better figures.
Polygamy is a right, not a privilege. It is an ordainment by the woman’s uncreated Creator whose rejection may be tantamount to kufr (disbelief) – discountenancing Allah’s injunction. The Holy Scripture is clear about it. The sunan in its legality abound. The unchangeable nature of the man reflects it. The outweighing population of women to that of men calls for it. The mind-blowing number of widows who have no men to home them in matrimony makes it a fundamental. The promiscuity of married men (including Christians) with unmarried ladies proves it right.
“…marry women of your choice – two, three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then (marry) one… That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.” Qur’an 4 Verse 3.
The woman is human. She’s no Angel. So the man should take it easy with her. She should not be threatened with the coming of another woman at the slightest provocation. That’s petty of any man. Her humanness should equally be considered. Her emotion should be respected. She should be honoured to honour the coming honourable.
The woman shouldn’t be crucified for being jealous. She has the liberty to do so. It’s a sign that she jealously loves her husband. After all, those who were better than her displayed same, even though it wasn’t out of the limits of Allah. Allow her ventilate her mind. That doesn’t render her impious. It doesn’t take her out of the fold of the righteous. The man shouldn’t receive it as a surprise. It should be expected; for she is human, too.
Woman! Why peep into your husband’s privacy? Why discreetly read through his text and Whatsapp messages? Why surreptitiously check through his missed and received calls? Why inflict yourself with hypertension that will skyrocket your blood pressure to a dying state? What for? Why stage a war with your husband over a message you clandestinely found on his phone? What’s the matter you with? Would that prevent or stop him from bringing in another queen? With or without your policing, he will marry the other woman, and heaven will still take its position – it will not fall.
Woman! Do not force your man to do the nikaah behind you. Let him be free to carry you along. What is the big deal in you being handed the other consort as a partner in progress? It is not easy, but you can make it easy for yourself.
Woman! Take fate when the deed is done. Accept the woman to the best of your ability. Don’t allow your emotion or some luciferous advisers make you incur Allah’s wrath. Tread the path of honour and hold on to the rope of your Lord.