IN SILENCE THEY DIE
What the ears hear these days make the heart groan in pains of pity for the ones whose saddening tales are told. What the eyes see of marital brouhaha today make the sight blur to blindness. O Allah, we ask for safety.
No doubt, women are dying in silence, unfortunately in the hands of “faworajas” in whose appearance, expression, physiognomy piety smells like frangrance, but whose conjugal attitude is second to none in bankruptcy.
The case of a nursing mother who was locked up in the house for days by one draconian husband of hers still shatters my head beyond repairs. The inhuman, inhumane authoritarian was said to have acted the shaytan script on account of his suspecting of his wife being seen by another man. How on earth would a rational, responsible husband take a stringent action on a mere suspicion not adduced with verifiable facts? Even if the suspected was culpable as conjecturally alleged, how was the action taken a corresponding measure to nip the omen in the bud? What is wrong with our brothers? What are we turning women into?
There is no perfect marriage anywhere. But marital imperfections shouldn’t be handmade; they shouldn’t be avoidable blunders that would eventually result in regrets. The standard spouses wanted of each other could never be met 100 percent. That’s the only marital impossibility I know. We’ve got to tolerate each other. And where there seems to be no solution to discords, asking her to go or asking of him a relief is a healthier path to toll than resort to animalism.
Today, some brothers do what hypnotized fellows will never do. They do worse things to their women. And when (as leaders who should be just during arbitration) they are sermonised or sometimes scolded for their meanness to their women, the song lyrics changes against the arbitrators. Some brothers have ears but are deaf; some have mouths but are dumb. Their brains have been beclouded by selfishness and arrogance. اللهم سلم!
The one who beats up his wife at the slightest provocation wants the imam to pat him on the back for an exercise well done. If he is told the bitter truth, the arbitrator becomes his enemy. The one who drops little or nothing for up-keep and expects plenty in the pot and at meal time wants the imam to give him kudos for doing extraordinarily well in his discharge of statutory duties. And where the arbitrator sees his flaws as faults, he becomes an enemy.
Women are dying in silence. They cannot speak out because they fear the roaring of their husbands. And slowly, they are dying. They emaciate, look husband-less, develop high blood pressure etc. And by the time their voices would be heard, the damages in their lives would have surpassed remedies.
Mischievous elements tend to blame Sunnah for the excesses of the faworajas. Fear Allah, o apparent liar! Everyone knows that maltreatment of women contravenes the Sunnah. Allah abhors it. The Prophet preached against it. So whoever acts contrary to such does so as voluntarily wished by him.