MARRYING NEW REVERTS By Aboo Banaat
MARRYING NEW REVERTS.
The moment it is said that, “Nneka is now Raheemah” and the crowd chants the takbeer, the next thing going through the minds of many of the brothers in that scene is the zeal to marry off this newly guided muslimah especially if she is a sweet-16.
You will be hearing comments like:
See how she looks good on Hijab
See how the niqab fits her perfectly.
She seems to be chaste etc
Unfortunately, most of these ‘sudden admirers and emergency suitors’ do not take into consideration the following factors:
She knows little or almost nothing about islam.
She doesn’t know tajweed yet.
She doesn’t have the basic foundations of the Deen yet.
Her Aqeedah is not well grounded yet.
Parental pressure is still there which she needs to sort out.
Family challenges or even her education may be at the verge of jeopardy.
Her means of livelihood may be threatened.
She is not emotionally and psychologically stable yet.
She doesn’t have the adab and traits of firm piety yet.
If you then propose to her under her present predicament and she accepts, don’t expect her to become a masha Allah 100 yards wife material who is perfect in recitation, knows lots of hadeeths, understands the basic fiqh of women issues, good in bed, perfect in the kitchen and a warrior in ibaa’dah.
All these are not possible for her to achieve within this early days of her islam, it will take time and years for her to even grow into an average muslimah except if she is specially gifted by Allah, so do not marry her with such high expectations and later on begin to complain about her or even think of divorcing her because she doesn’t meet your taste, did you even give her time to learn her religion before you married her? So groom her patiently.
She may still be drinking and eating with her left hand, she may still be inclined to music and movies, she may still be inclined to some bad habits, correct her gently and patiently, perfection doesn’t happen overnight.
Remember the woman from jauniyah, Asma bint Abi jaun, who was described to be the finest woman in the whole of Arabia back then, when the prophet salallahu alayhi wassalam married her as a new revert, she addressed him as an ordinary man ‘sauqa’, the rasul ignored her statement because he knew she doesn’t have the adab of communication yet. So if you want to marry a new revert, don’t just be bothered about winning her over other suitors, also be bothered about learning to live with her patiently until you groom her to your taste, and that is why you are being called a ‘groom’.
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