HURTFUL THAN A BLOW
By Sanni, Kay Yusuf
Who would grow up in core Mushin town, Lagos Island, Agege, Somolu, Ikorodu (such as Itunmaja, Itaagbodo, Ladega, Itunla, Obun-ale, Ajina, Old Aga, Ijomu, Ota-ona, Itaaro etc.) without having a sorry tale to tell? It takes Allah’s benevolence to scale through becoming a teen-mother or aborting a baby(ies). Those girls who survived the aforementioned would hardly scale through losing their virginity to vanity. It was the norm of the time.
That was the life lived by many until Allah’s guidance walked up to them and they became righteous. They regretted their past and moved on with their lives; after all, sinners had been assured forgivess on sincere repentance. This is enshrined in the Qur’an thus:
(وَالَّذِينَ لَا يَدْعُونَ مَعَ اللَّهِ إِلَٰهًا آخَرَ وَلَا يَقْتُلُونَ النَّفْسَ الَّتِي حَرَّمَ اللَّهُ إِلَّا بِالْحَقِّ وَلَا يَزْنُونَ ۚ وَمَنْ يَفْعَلْ ذَٰلِكَ يَلْقَ أَثَامًا)
(يُضَاعَفْ لَهُ الْعَذَابُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وَيَخْلُدْ فِيهِ مُهَانًا)
(إِلَّا مَنْ تَابَ وَآمَنَ وَعَمِلَ عَمَلًا صَالِحًا فَأُولَٰئِكَ يُبَدِّلُ اللَّهُ سَيِّئَاتِهِمْ حَسَنَاتٍ ۗ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَحِيمًا)
“They are those who do not invoke any other god besides Allah, nor take a human life—made sacred by Allah—except with legal right, nor commit fornication. And whoever does any of this will face the penalty.”
“Their punishment will be multiplied on the Day of Judgment, and they will remain in it forever, in disgrace.”
“As for those who repent, believe, and do good deeds, they are the ones whose evil deeds Allah will change into good deeds. For Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Q25 V68-70).
When it got to my knowledge that some men bank on their wives’ past misdeeds to talk them down during trade of words, I felt bad, pitiful and disappointed that Muslims could be that petty and saucy. It was said that such men are usually quick to call their wives unprintable names that reflect their past. I wonder what those sanctimonious elements would say of some sahabiyyat if they had lived in the era of the Prophet.
How dare one abuse one of a sin she had been forgiven by her Lord! What if she is not to Allah what you think she is? And does it even make any sense that your own wife – mother of your child(ren) – is being dragged in the mud and reduced to nothing like a prostitute?
If your wife was no virgin when you married her. That might be because of the kind of life she was exposed to at young age. If she had regretted, repented and refrained from the act, why make her remember what she is still struggling to put behind her?
Such an act is symptomatic of an irresponsible man who deserves no good woman for a wife. Even if his wife were married a virgin, he would still puncture into another past of hers to hit her hard. Oniranu agba ti o t’ole!