AQD AND WALEEMATU’ n- NIKAAH IN PERSPECTIVE – Part 2 By Sirnucy Lafiagi
Comprehension 101: ‘Aqd and Waleematu n-Nikaah in perspective (Episode 2)
Organizing the wedding feast is primarily the duty of the groom at his convenience (time and place). In the hadeeth of ‘Abdurrahmaan bn ‘awf cited earlier (see episode 1), the instruction was clearly directed at him. The Prophet said, “May Allah bless you. Give a waleemah even if it is with just one sheep.”
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, rahimahuLlaah said: “It (the waleemah) is prescribed for the husband, because the Prophet said to ‘Abdurrahmaan ibn ‘Awf: “Give a waleemah,” and he did not tell his in-laws to do that. And because the blessing is greater for the husband than for the wife, because he is the one who sought the woman; it is very rare for the woman to seek the man.”
Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 12/321
It’s important to emphasize this point because majority of Muslim parents (brides’) seem not to know/jettison this Shari’ah. They assume that it’s their right to dictate the when and how a wedding feast should take place and put a lot of burden on their son-in-law. This mentality needs to change if indeed we desire a blissful marital life for our daughters. There’s no harm if there’s a joint agreement between both families on this issue, but to assume a draconian position, bullying the groom into forceful decisions is repugnant to justice, good conscience and natural laws.
The most appropriate time for organizing the Waleematu n-Nikaah is immediately after consummation of marriage. That is, after the first ever sexual intercourse between the newlyweds. Shaykh bn Taimiyyah said:
وقال شيخ الإسلام ابن تيمية: ووقت الوليمة في حديث زينب وصفته تدل على أنه عقب الدخول. انتهى.
“The time for organizing the waleemah, according to the hadeeth of Zaynab bint Jahsh (one of the prophet’s wives) is after consummation.”
وجاء في مغني المحتاج: والأفضل فعلها بعد الدخول لأن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم لم يولم على نسائه إلا بعد الدخول. انتهى…
“Its also mentioned in ‘Mughnee al-Muhtaaj’, ‘and the most appropriate time to organize the waleemah is after consummation because the Prophet never arrange a waleemah for any of his wives until after consummation.”
وفي مختصر خليل في الفقه المالكي: الوليمة مندوبة بعد البناء، قال في الشرح الكبير على مختصر خليل: والمعتمد أن كونها بعد البناء مندوب ثان فإن فعلت قبله أجزأت. انتهى
Similarly, it’s mentioned in ‘Mukhtasar al-Khaleel’ (a principal book on Maaliki fiqh), “The waleemah is prescribed after consummation.” It’s said in ‘Ash-Sharh al-Kabeer, a commentary on Mukhtasar al-Khaleel’, “the position of the Madh-hab is that the waleemah should come after consummation. However, if it were done before then, that suffices.”
These days, one of the issues I’m dealing with is that of failed marriages after ‘aqd and before waleemah as a result of minor disagreements or loss of interest due to infatuation and lust. Some couples have disagreed over the legality or otherwise of living together before the waleemah is done or being in ‘Khalwah (being together without a third party) and having sexual intercourse. There are also cases of whether or not the lady will observe any iddah in case they got separated before consummation since they haven’t had the waleemah.
These and other issues shall be addressed in the next episode, in shaa Allaah.
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